How do you get around?

How do you get around?

...and the conversation began.            

            Everybody has a thing. I know people who can't refuse the offer to have a shot, I know people that can't refuse to take a cheap shot at someone. I know some people who can refuse every single job, and I also know people that can't refuse a blowjob. Once upon a time, there was a man who was giving offers that couldn't be refused. I love to drive. That is my thing. I can't refuse driving. Offer me a wheel, and I'll take it. I don't care if you're giving me an old beaten up Toyota Tercel with a stick-shift, if you're offering ugly and really smelly Ford Escort that can't roll down its windows, or if you're serving me a brand new BMW 7 series loaded with my favorite music and upgraded stereo. Thank you for the offer, I'll take it. I say yes without thinking about the time. It could be the peak of rush hour, and I will drive you to Homestead, just to be behind the wheel. Your AC doesn't work?  I don't care, sweat never killed anyone. Your radio is stuck on one station? Gospel is fine, and at least I will learn a bit more about that Jesus guy. What do you mean that your stick-shift can't get into reverse? Oh, ok. Well, we can push a bit. I needed a work out.

            I also don't mind driving for hours. Sometimes without destination, without purpose. I drove to California once, it took me more than two days. I had so so coffee  and really good Mexican food in San Diego, bought bunch of souvenirs, and drove back. Why not? It was the most expensive coffee and meal I've ever had. And now I have a story, that will beat your drive to local Starbucks. I refuse the offer to sit behind the wheel only in one situation. When I am drunk. And that's more matter of safety and responsibility, than me not feeling like driving. That's when I come home, and if I am not totally wasted, I start up my Playstation and drive. Until I pass out. Or vomit or something even worse.

            Bullshit. You gotta ride a bike! I won't ride my motorcycle to Cali anytime soon, cause I don't have the time, but one day, one day when I am a bit older, I will ride the old Route 66 from Chicago all the way to Santa Monica. Motorcycles are so much more fun. It is so much more exciting than car. You can really become one with your machine, you feel the gas pumping through your veins, adrenalin rushing through your body as you're dodging the moronic drivers that are not paying attention to anything but their Facebook posts and Twitter accounts. And I don't mind if you offer me sports bike, cruiser, dirt-bike, chopper, touring bike, or some little Vespa scooter, that can't make more than 30 miles per hour. I ride it like I stole it. And I also don't care about the time. Do you wanna go to Key West now? As long as it doesn't rain, and as long as I am sober, and as long as I don't have all that much luggage, and as long as have only one of my girlfriends with me, and as long as I have some warm clothes, I am ready to go.

            Rubbish. You are both wrong. Cars are great, motorcycles too, but nothing gives you the same sensation as riding a fixie. You are actually in control. It's not about pressing a gas pedal, or twisting a handle bar. It's about your strength. It's about your energy. And it's as exciting, no, it's more exciting, than motorcycles. You gotta negotiate your way between cars as you're silently trailing down the street. On a fixie, single gear bike, you have to work hard even when you're going downhill. There's no time to be looking around, which sometimes sucks, cause the women here dress very provocatively. But the rewards are great. You are in a great physical shape, you are saving gas and parking money, and ultimately you are really environmentally friendly. Riding a bicycle makes you green(er).

            Cars, motorcycles, even bicycles. How old are you? Fifty. Car? No, thank you. Motorcycle? I am not in midlife crisis yet. Bicycle? I am not member of AARP that just started taking his sleeping medicine, so he was recommended to exercise when awake. Come on guys. Skateboard is the best way around for a young person. You can feel every single bump, every single little wave on the road. You are only inches away from the uninviting ground, and let me tell you, once you hit it, it ain't pretty. And it's fast too, especially downhill. And the chics dig the tricks. No girl will ever look at the guy on a bicycle. Sorry to burst your bubble. I have better stamina than any of you three, I have scars to show to people, and stories to write more books than the Harry Potter lady. When it rains, I just take a bus. Who cares? I've heard girls like to ride in the bus anyway.      

            Yes, they do. I am a girl and I ride a bus. Can I hang out with you guys... ?

And how do YOU get around?

M.K